Life certainly has a sadly funny way of trying to keep us from God. Whether it is because we sleep late and do not say our morning prayers, thereby neglecting our souls during the day, or being so tired we neglect our prayers at night, thereby neglecting our soul's ability to rest, and everything in between, it is so easy to neglect all that God has done for us and does for us always.
If we are Americans, we see our religious freedoms being tested more and more every day, and instead of praying to God, we fight our persecutors.
In the Middle East, our Brothers and Sisters in Christ fear for their lives daily.
That is just politics..
We no longer trust a beggar who seeks assistance, though I must admit it is hard to feel bad for someone begging for money when they wear a pair of sneakers that costs more than my food bill for two weeks. Again, life keeping me from God.
We take for granted those who love us, and seek approval from those who take us for granted. I should learn to love those who take me for granted regardless of their love, or lack thereof, for me. I should also never take for granted those who love me regardless of my failures.
I have been told I am now under grace, yet get chastised for not living to the letter of the law. All I wanted to do was have an image of a saint on my computer to focus on.
I don't know what hurts me more; knowing that I have to do better, or knowing that I can and am not doing so.
Pray for me please, if you can, and if you will.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Our Pagan Fight
Here we go again. All we are hearing now with Western Easter approaching this weekend (though Pascha is May 5) is how Easter is a "pagan" celebration "stolen" by the Christians. We are hearing about Ishtar and Eoster and how it REALLY is a pagan festival for a fertility goddess. All this makes me question now not what those who attack Christianity are doing, but what are we, who are called to defend it, are doing.
Now apologetics is not for everyone, and even for those who enjoy it on occasion, it can be rather tiresome. This explains how we are losing on at least one front: attrition. Like a pack of wolves hunting their prey, they nip at our heels, chase us for hours, and tire us out just before killing us. I think this is why Christ called on us to endure to the end and said those that do will be saved (Matthew 24:13). He also warned us that He was sending us out as sheep in the midst of wolves (Matthew 10:16). We should be ready for this, but sadly, I am thinking many of us are not (myself included: I am already tired of the attacks this year).
We hear constantly about how Easter Eggs are a tribute to a pagan god. When was the last time any of us recounted the visit of Mary Magdalene visiting the Emperor Tiberius and proclaiming "Christ is Risen!"? Do we even know the tradition of this? When confronted with Mary Magdalene's exclamation, Tiberius replied "A man can rise from the dead no more than the egg in your hand can turn red!" It was then that the egg in Mary Magdalene's hand turned red. This is why, in many icons of her, she is pictured holding a red egg in her hand. Forgetting this tradition and the reason behind it only opens a door to those who wish to defeat Christ.
We hear about Easter Bunnies, Chocolate, and other candies given to children as further evidence of pagan ancestry and homage. A question I can not answer is when did the church allow it IN the church? I have seen Easter Baskets at Pascha that have much food, but have never seen the chocolate bunnies in them. I have seen the red eggs, and Cheese Pascha, and meat, but no chocolate bunnies.
Those who scoff at us know we do not have adequate knowledge of our faith, and they have seen to it that it stays that way. This is why we always hear about Christianity "stealing" from the pagans to get them to convert. I say different; I say their traditions were part of the culture they grew up in, and did not bring into the church at all; they kept the church and the culture separate. At best, the church did not object to such a practice out of mercy and economia, and at worst, perhaps they have not reminded us of what these practices can mean to someone else who has no desire to follow Christ.
I do not have the answers for all of this. I can only argue with people about paganism and the resurrection so much before my own sins start bearing bad fruit (that notorious temper of mine!). The only conclusion I can draw comes not from scripture or tradition, but an answer to a question "Why did this happen?". Alexandr Solzhenitsyn gave a very simple answer to why the Soviet atrocities happened, and I can only see the truth in his words applied to the question of the Resurrection and the idea that it is pagan in origin. He answered "Because Men have forgotten God: that is why all this happened".
Let us not forget and put more effort to remembering.
Now apologetics is not for everyone, and even for those who enjoy it on occasion, it can be rather tiresome. This explains how we are losing on at least one front: attrition. Like a pack of wolves hunting their prey, they nip at our heels, chase us for hours, and tire us out just before killing us. I think this is why Christ called on us to endure to the end and said those that do will be saved (Matthew 24:13). He also warned us that He was sending us out as sheep in the midst of wolves (Matthew 10:16). We should be ready for this, but sadly, I am thinking many of us are not (myself included: I am already tired of the attacks this year).
We hear constantly about how Easter Eggs are a tribute to a pagan god. When was the last time any of us recounted the visit of Mary Magdalene visiting the Emperor Tiberius and proclaiming "Christ is Risen!"? Do we even know the tradition of this? When confronted with Mary Magdalene's exclamation, Tiberius replied "A man can rise from the dead no more than the egg in your hand can turn red!" It was then that the egg in Mary Magdalene's hand turned red. This is why, in many icons of her, she is pictured holding a red egg in her hand. Forgetting this tradition and the reason behind it only opens a door to those who wish to defeat Christ.
We hear about Easter Bunnies, Chocolate, and other candies given to children as further evidence of pagan ancestry and homage. A question I can not answer is when did the church allow it IN the church? I have seen Easter Baskets at Pascha that have much food, but have never seen the chocolate bunnies in them. I have seen the red eggs, and Cheese Pascha, and meat, but no chocolate bunnies.
Those who scoff at us know we do not have adequate knowledge of our faith, and they have seen to it that it stays that way. This is why we always hear about Christianity "stealing" from the pagans to get them to convert. I say different; I say their traditions were part of the culture they grew up in, and did not bring into the church at all; they kept the church and the culture separate. At best, the church did not object to such a practice out of mercy and economia, and at worst, perhaps they have not reminded us of what these practices can mean to someone else who has no desire to follow Christ.
I do not have the answers for all of this. I can only argue with people about paganism and the resurrection so much before my own sins start bearing bad fruit (that notorious temper of mine!). The only conclusion I can draw comes not from scripture or tradition, but an answer to a question "Why did this happen?". Alexandr Solzhenitsyn gave a very simple answer to why the Soviet atrocities happened, and I can only see the truth in his words applied to the question of the Resurrection and the idea that it is pagan in origin. He answered "Because Men have forgotten God: that is why all this happened".
Let us not forget and put more effort to remembering.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Evening Bells
There is an old song by the Irish poet/singer Thomas Moore called "Those Evening Bells" that tells of a melancholy yearning for ones youth and how the chiming of those bells brings back the memory of happier times, and how when one is in the grave, you will never hear them again. A Russian translation (phonetically translated "Vechernii Zvon") is a well known folk song; not a Russian person I have ever met has been unable to sing it. I have been thinking of this song and how it affects me and my path on Orthodoxy lately.
I have been out of a major city for almost two months now. Being a country boy at heart, I find the city life rather draining and hostile to my spirit. There, I hear many more trains, trucks, loud music and other distractions, but it wasn't until I was out of the city and in the small town I currently am in before I realized that there had been something else missing in my life; church bells.
Where I currently am, I can hear the bells of a neighborhood church ring out three times a day; at 8:00 am, at noon, and at 6:00 pm every day. This does not include other churches, including the Orthodox Church I currently attend, ringing the bells to signal the start of the service. While I noticed how those bells rang out almost immediately, I had never understood how they were lacking in a big city nowadays until just a few days ago; in fact, the parish I attend in the city does not even have a bell to ring right now.
When I hear these bells every day now, I find myself giving a little prayer of thanks to God every time. Not only have I found a peace and quiet that one can rarely find in a big city, but the lack of those bells had an effect on me I never understood; I didn't even realize I missed them. I do not know whether the daily bells are meant to be a call to prayer, but I think that the fact they they do call me to a little prayer of thanks now can only be helpful in my stumbling, as I find that every little prayer I say, even just a quip of "Thank you, Jesus" brings me closer to where I want my soul to be.
Perhaps, also, these bells remind me of my Earthly mortality. I honestly have not thought about that aspect yet, as I have been too busy enjoying the sound of church bells again to worry about such a matter. Even if they do on a subconscious level, I am not preoccupied with that eventual happening. I am not even thinking of my childhood when I hear them (as a child I was so far out in the country that I never heard church bells unless I went to the village, so I made a point of being in the village at the time they rang out quite often). What I am thinking of is the silence time away from the city brings; how silence, a devotional gift from God, allows the Holy Spirit to penetrate your thoughts if you allow it to do so. I also think of a simpler, less hurried, more joyful existence and the way this existence allows me more ease of devotion and prayer, of spirtual reading, and even more importantly, how God works in that silence because we don't static Him out.
While I feel my soul more at ease at the moment, I know I need to guard myself from complacency, and perhaps those bells can help. Not only can they remind me to pray, but because they emanate from God's house, they can remind me how ever present He truly is, everywhere, at all times. I can't say they stop my sinning, but I do reflect on the damage those sins I commit have done more now than I did just a few short weeks ago. Let those morning, noon, and evening bells ring, and let them remind me how He truly blesses me, and how much I owe Him, and how much I need Him. As dense as I can be, I need all the reminders of God I can get.
God Bless.
I have been out of a major city for almost two months now. Being a country boy at heart, I find the city life rather draining and hostile to my spirit. There, I hear many more trains, trucks, loud music and other distractions, but it wasn't until I was out of the city and in the small town I currently am in before I realized that there had been something else missing in my life; church bells.
Where I currently am, I can hear the bells of a neighborhood church ring out three times a day; at 8:00 am, at noon, and at 6:00 pm every day. This does not include other churches, including the Orthodox Church I currently attend, ringing the bells to signal the start of the service. While I noticed how those bells rang out almost immediately, I had never understood how they were lacking in a big city nowadays until just a few days ago; in fact, the parish I attend in the city does not even have a bell to ring right now.
When I hear these bells every day now, I find myself giving a little prayer of thanks to God every time. Not only have I found a peace and quiet that one can rarely find in a big city, but the lack of those bells had an effect on me I never understood; I didn't even realize I missed them. I do not know whether the daily bells are meant to be a call to prayer, but I think that the fact they they do call me to a little prayer of thanks now can only be helpful in my stumbling, as I find that every little prayer I say, even just a quip of "Thank you, Jesus" brings me closer to where I want my soul to be.
Perhaps, also, these bells remind me of my Earthly mortality. I honestly have not thought about that aspect yet, as I have been too busy enjoying the sound of church bells again to worry about such a matter. Even if they do on a subconscious level, I am not preoccupied with that eventual happening. I am not even thinking of my childhood when I hear them (as a child I was so far out in the country that I never heard church bells unless I went to the village, so I made a point of being in the village at the time they rang out quite often). What I am thinking of is the silence time away from the city brings; how silence, a devotional gift from God, allows the Holy Spirit to penetrate your thoughts if you allow it to do so. I also think of a simpler, less hurried, more joyful existence and the way this existence allows me more ease of devotion and prayer, of spirtual reading, and even more importantly, how God works in that silence because we don't static Him out.
While I feel my soul more at ease at the moment, I know I need to guard myself from complacency, and perhaps those bells can help. Not only can they remind me to pray, but because they emanate from God's house, they can remind me how ever present He truly is, everywhere, at all times. I can't say they stop my sinning, but I do reflect on the damage those sins I commit have done more now than I did just a few short weeks ago. Let those morning, noon, and evening bells ring, and let them remind me how He truly blesses me, and how much I owe Him, and how much I need Him. As dense as I can be, I need all the reminders of God I can get.
God Bless.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
St Herman of Alaska
"For our good, for our happiness, let us make a vow, at least that from this day, this hour, this very minute, we should try to love God above all else and carry out his teachings." St Herman of Alaska.
We venerate this saint today (December 13), and I think it wise I try to live up to this challenge, a challenge I seem to fail at more often than I care to admit.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
We venerate this saint today (December 13), and I think it wise I try to live up to this challenge, a challenge I seem to fail at more often than I care to admit.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
On his Feast Day
With Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akc9wO_oAOQ
A Song I wrote about my secondary patron in the Orthodox Church, St John Kochurov, whose blessed memory we commemorate today, 10/31.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akc9wO_oAOQ
A Song I wrote about my secondary patron in the Orthodox Church, St John Kochurov, whose blessed memory we commemorate today, 10/31.
FATHER JOHN
A song for St John Kochurov, Heiromartyr
of the Bolshevik Yoke
How can we help you, Father John, Father John?
Praying for us as you bleed
Shielding God’s people, Father John, Father John
As evil sweeps Russia
They’ve captured the royals, Father John, Father John
Stolen their riches and homes
They claim them for the people, Father John, Father John
And then keep those riches all for their own.
They show you no mercy, Father John, Father John
They say what you teach is absurd.
And they mean to tame us, Father John, Father John
By using their bullets to silence God’s word
They mourn in Chicago, Father John, Father John
In a church that you labored to build
They mourn out in Brooklyn Father John, Father John
Upon hearing how and why you were killed
We ask not for vengeance, Father John, Father John
We ask that we only be saved
From Godless oppression, Father John, Father John
A power that’s only described as depraved
In seventy years, Father John, Father John
A people enslaved now are free
The yoke of their burden, Father John, Father John
Are thought to be written as old history
Still we are praying, Father John, Father John
That you died for us not in vain
In you we find courage, Father John, Father John
As evil sweeps over this land once again
How can we help you, Father John, Father John?
Praying for us as you bleed
Shielding God’s people, Father John, Father John
As evil rains on us in word and in deed
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Stumbling into a desert.
I have been finding it very difficult to pray as of late. There are many things I could complain about in life right now, and while they are true, that is not the purpose of either this blog nor the life God gives us. To say, however, that it hasn't affected me negatively in my soul, however, would be denial of a truth I must face and correct.
At this moment, my daily prayers do not fill me with joy; instead, they seem like an exercise in memorization or reading skills. I certainly MEAN what those prayers say, but I am unable to FEEL their power. I read Scripture, but it also feels more intellectual right now.
I have found myself just sitting in a church lately. Not necessarily praying anything special other than a thank you, but just sitting there in silence, surrounded by the icons of our Savior, the Theotokos, and the saints. Certainly those who who see me in the church must think I am deep in prayer, but I am actually only trying to listen.
Is my problem a lack of true repentance at this time? Perhaps it is. I certainly have been angry at a few things, and others have justified my anger for me with their openness to hoist blame on those who have made me angry. Sometimes, I haven't even needed to complain myself; others have done it for me. I keep hearing people saying that they wouldn't put up with what I have had to do lately, and that I shouldn't, either. While I disagree with them about the not putting up with things idea (for we all deal with things we don't want to), these well meaning people seem to be coming to my defense without asking. For this, I am forever grateful and deeply blessed. However, there is no justification for some of my anger and the losing of the temper, regardless of any true victimizing of me, so the desire for repentance, I think, is there. The tears, however, are not.
My faith is not shaken. I know God is there, that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and the saints are praying for me, as are my friends. I also know that several of the saints and church founders also have had such periods of dryness in their lives, and many of them said that such periods represent not a loss of faith, but more a respite before a spiritual growth, and I will remain in dryness until God deems me ready to accept the next growth of my spirit. I trust they are correct, but my strength is wearing very thin at the moment. Patience may be a virtue, but it is a virtue I need to acquire.
I am aware that no one knows when this will end but God. I am aware that only God knows why I am at this point in my spiritual life right now. I can honestly say that along this path, I never realized I would actually stumble into a desert, but here I am in a desert as dry as any other. As a joke towards some people, I tell them I can't read minds because I can't read a blank page. This is all telling me that God is a much better reader than I am, also, for I know He is able to read my blank soul at this moment. I only hope it isn't as damaged with evil as I fear it may be.
I ask for any prayers right now, and please know I will mention all of you in mine. God's will be done, and I do submit to it as humbly as I know how. God Bless all of you.
At this moment, my daily prayers do not fill me with joy; instead, they seem like an exercise in memorization or reading skills. I certainly MEAN what those prayers say, but I am unable to FEEL their power. I read Scripture, but it also feels more intellectual right now.
I have found myself just sitting in a church lately. Not necessarily praying anything special other than a thank you, but just sitting there in silence, surrounded by the icons of our Savior, the Theotokos, and the saints. Certainly those who who see me in the church must think I am deep in prayer, but I am actually only trying to listen.
Is my problem a lack of true repentance at this time? Perhaps it is. I certainly have been angry at a few things, and others have justified my anger for me with their openness to hoist blame on those who have made me angry. Sometimes, I haven't even needed to complain myself; others have done it for me. I keep hearing people saying that they wouldn't put up with what I have had to do lately, and that I shouldn't, either. While I disagree with them about the not putting up with things idea (for we all deal with things we don't want to), these well meaning people seem to be coming to my defense without asking. For this, I am forever grateful and deeply blessed. However, there is no justification for some of my anger and the losing of the temper, regardless of any true victimizing of me, so the desire for repentance, I think, is there. The tears, however, are not.
My faith is not shaken. I know God is there, that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and the saints are praying for me, as are my friends. I also know that several of the saints and church founders also have had such periods of dryness in their lives, and many of them said that such periods represent not a loss of faith, but more a respite before a spiritual growth, and I will remain in dryness until God deems me ready to accept the next growth of my spirit. I trust they are correct, but my strength is wearing very thin at the moment. Patience may be a virtue, but it is a virtue I need to acquire.
I am aware that no one knows when this will end but God. I am aware that only God knows why I am at this point in my spiritual life right now. I can honestly say that along this path, I never realized I would actually stumble into a desert, but here I am in a desert as dry as any other. As a joke towards some people, I tell them I can't read minds because I can't read a blank page. This is all telling me that God is a much better reader than I am, also, for I know He is able to read my blank soul at this moment. I only hope it isn't as damaged with evil as I fear it may be.
I ask for any prayers right now, and please know I will mention all of you in mine. God's will be done, and I do submit to it as humbly as I know how. God Bless all of you.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
What I Do Not Deserve
When someone smiles at me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their smile.
When someone compliments me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me compliments.
When someone praises me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me praise.
When someone thanks me for serving them, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me thanks for being their servant.
When someone shares their lunch with me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me food.
When someone prays for me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their prayers.
When someone shelters me from harm, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me either shelter or safety.
When someone helps me complete a task, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their assistance.
When someone defends me from persecution, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me defense.
When someone persecutes me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their attention for any purpose.
When someone nurses me to health, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for I am not owed a nurse or good health.
When someone cries for me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their tears.
When someone loves me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me love.
When someone gives me a gift, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me gifts.
When I live to see another day, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for I am not owed life.
Yet God still keeps being kind to me, and I certainly do not deserve His kindness.
When someone compliments me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me compliments.
When someone praises me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me praise.
When someone thanks me for serving them, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me thanks for being their servant.
When someone shares their lunch with me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me food.
When someone prays for me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their prayers.
When someone shelters me from harm, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me either shelter or safety.
When someone helps me complete a task, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their assistance.
When someone defends me from persecution, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me defense.
When someone persecutes me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their attention for any purpose.
When someone nurses me to health, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for I am not owed a nurse or good health.
When someone cries for me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me their tears.
When someone loves me, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me love.
When someone gives me a gift, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for no one owes me gifts.
When I live to see another day, it is a kindness I do not deserve, for I am not owed life.
Yet God still keeps being kind to me, and I certainly do not deserve His kindness.
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